Much of this thought process encapsulates the sharing of my own personal life and testimony with others. Social tact is not a feature I find innately within me, but something I have learned through many failed acquaintances. When I was in my teens being burnt out or high or whatever really encouraged a lack of inhibition or concern with how others thought of me. As I have grown in Christ sobriety has been a really very trying aspect in regards to a social life. You start to take notice of mutual relationships when you’re not preoccupied with getting off on whatever you can just to avoid emotionally processing everything you’ve been burying for almost a decade.
Something I keep telling myself is you cannot assume anything about anyone else. Whatever is going on in someone else’s heart and head is totally their business, and you cannot expect, or demand honesty (anything really) out of anyone. It can be maddening. You could lay your own heart and head out for someone else to accept gladly, without any sense of reciprocation following. To what end are you opening up to someone is the question, and for what purpose.
Jeremiah 17:9 says,”The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?” No matter how desperately we desire to hear the truth, or have understanding given to us from another human being, the simple fact of the matter is that it is never guaranteed in any human interaction. Jeremiah 17:10 answers verse 9 perfectly,“I the Lord search the heart and test the mind, to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his deeds.”
Despite our lack of honesty with each other we can never fool the Lord, and He is my constant peace, despite the lack of understanding in so many relationships, and situations in my life. What understanding I am allotted from the Lord—I am learning, is more than enough to stay my restless thoughts. Should we choose to refocus our thoughts from all we may never know, and childishly lean dependently in His Word and promises, I believe all that temporally haunts us will be laid to rest quite quickly. If you have never dug into the book of Proverbs, Psalms, Job, or Ecclesiastes, I would highly recommend doing so, frequently. As I said to some of my good friends recently, I probably would have killed myself by now if those books were never written. I’ll leave this with some verses.