Spoken World

singer-songwriter / sojourner

HAVE (commentary)

i'm glad i never kissed her

it'd given me something (nothing) to miss

I have always had a bad habit of projecting my desires onto others, in whatever capacity befitted my wandering heart. Namely, in regards to romance, I had some semblance of an ideal woman. Since I was just a kid, around the age of 4 or so, I can recall thinking on—or wondering about a “helper” as God put it in

Genesis 2:18: “Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”

These lyrics are focusing on the necessity of self-restraint and patience in regard to expressing oneself romantically. We cannot trust every inclination of our deceitful hearts.

i've always been a fool

for kind words said from lying lips

I have made many mistakes, not for lack of want.

but it seems

i have lost my taste

or rather maybe

it's something i've gained

Glory be to God alone for gracing me with godly desires.

i'm seeing shades again

ghosts of lovers i had kept

and thought i held so deep in my heart

I only ever thought I knew what love was.

the memories remain

haunting my heart and head every day

and the hollowness won't fade

Mistakes, sins, the seem to plague us relentlessly at times. They can make us feel worthless, or make us question the reality of our salvation in Christ Jesus. Feelings are not everything, and coming from our deceitful hearts, they are not always true. The only proper, and true person to trust the Lord Jesus Christ.

what i once thought full

is now just an ache

some wounds heal

into scars that take

I was a huge fan of Lord of the Rings when I was younger, and these lyrics reference Frodo’s scar from the Ringwraith in the Fellowship plaguing him even in the final installation of the movie trilogy, and being in part the catalyst for him going with the elves into their land (I totally cried in theatre).

i recall long nights

longing for

someone

by my side

unsettled to

my core

The insomnia of my youth revolved around existential dread, and the desires of my lustful heart. For lack of want, and met with the reality of our own actions, we are tortured by the needs we do not realize. We place blame on God, and refuse to take into account our own thoughts and actions.

but now i take every day

as it comes

i know deaths

on the way

doesnt matter to me

on which page

Phillipians 1:21 “For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.”

i look towards the end

not to finish

but to begin

and it's nothing i can comprehend 

Isaiah 65:17 ““For behold, I create new heavens

and a new earth,

and the former things shall not be remembered

or come into mind.”

like in those long nights

wondering if I was in Your sights

why nothing ever seems all right

maybe that's cause it ain't

We live in a fallen world. Everything is pretty messed up. Things don’t work out in the way that we think they will. Our very perception is fractured, and broken. Honestly openly seek and reject anything other than, and seek to take on a biblical worldview, and things will begin to make a lot more sense. However, faith will be of necessity, as well as great joy.

i thought a girl

could bring me grace

but they all left

without a trace

Placing your hope or faith in anyone other than Jesus Christ is gonna mess you up, hard.

but yeah I'm alright

if no one sees me with Your eyes

because of Your Sons sacrifice

I'll still die a happy man

trusting in Your plan

Matthew 22:30-32 “For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven. And as for the resurrection of the dead, have you not read what was said to you by God: I am the God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob’? He is not God of the dead, but of the living.”