Spoken World

singer-songwriter / sojourner

Writing As Of Late

If you have ever had acquaintances or long time friends kill themselves you should sort of understand where I am coming from while trying to write the last eight months. I was fired from my second job at a coffee shop I was working last October and the next day received a phone call from Allen about a mutual friend I had made through him earlier last year who had just killed himself that past weekend, and then I had a wedding I was shooting all in the same week—with our friends memorial right after the wedding. Fast forward to January of this year. I was informed that a friend I had known since the beginning of high school (almost ten years ago now? dang.) had killed himself too. I hadn’t seen him in about two years I think. Reliving all the horrific thoughts of,”How did I miss this?” with one never knowing he struggled with suicide and remembering a conversation I had with the other about such heavy thoughts, it’s been fairly difficult to put any cognizant feelings or thoughts into words—let alone song. I haven’t really known what to feel other than completely helpless. Another acquaintance of mine (who’s local band I looked up to when I was in 7th grade) asphyxiated died and was resuscitated only to be declared legally brain dead literally a day after he added me on facebook. Come to find out he had just had a daughter three months back. I hadn’t seen him since a house show I shot down in Atlanta two year or so back. All this to say I do not know what will come of the songs I am working on, but I hope they help you—God forbid should you deal with anything similar. Yet, if there is one thing I have learned in my few years it is that nothing is as it should be.