behind windowpanes

we passersby

staring never caring

enough to stay a while


investments far too much

vulnerability a fear

unless it's feel good

and nothing to hold dear


everyone's so slow to come

yet quick to leave

and though i understand

it's something i can't believe



the capabilities we have

in each day and age

are taken for granted

so painstakingly


though we're satiated

we're discontent

nothing's good enough

and we don't know what is



the wonder is lost

on our newborn minds

so easily maybe it's

not there to find



and sanity

aren't ours

they're His


pray may we humble

our haughty heads

ask for His




there's a joy to honesty

that most can't relate


an openness that leaves us

feeling all estranged


tangible feelings

we try to ignore

or misappropriate



and it's eating at my hopes

it's eating at my dreams


I want to love somebody

as much as You have loved me


though I know in this life

there are no guarantees



bone of my bone

flesh of my flesh


I've been wondering

have we ever met


if we did I don't know

that I'd know if we had



and I'm sick and I'm tired of wondering


my father says that I won't have to eventually



I try to keep my mind on Christ

not the comforts of this life


to love at all costs to myself

and to fight the good fight


but with no one by my side



each day gets harder as I go

and You say it's not good for us

to be alone


but if I am to be

it is well with my soul



'cause I am not who I used to be

I am a new creation

I am redeemed


it's nothing

that I have to see

to believe



but at times it still seems

that it's all still on me


even though You said

it is finished up on that tree



it's hard to take

being told to pray


when what i feel

it seems that no words can say


Thank God Your Spirit

intercedes for me



for every tear

and every sigh


that tends to keep

my troubled


heart up at night


I rest in Your promises

I know that you're by


my side




You set me free



I don't need anything


in You I am complete



i have a sinking in my stomach

and aches that run through my bones


ive found an emptiness to conversation

that makes me feel so at home


I've lost reason in feelings

our hearts speak deceit


and the longer that I live

the more I fail to see



i long to lay my head

to the dirt


and know that I've done

all I could



a great many things in life

I will never know


and I've come to understand

that knowing is not what matters most


a'lot I've to say

your ears wouldn't keep


as lungs fail to give the thanks

each breath should weep



to hear well done

is more than I deserve


all the same

all i hope for



there's a fullness to this life

that is double edged


a language we interpret

an art we counterfeit


tell me

if this is all there is


why that conviction

is so very hard to admit



tell me

do you count

the cost


a soul

is quite a lot

to be lost



like paperweights

in the back of my head


like layers of skin

i wish that i could shed



i wish could be like the dreams


the ones I wake up from

and I forget




but i wake up

and it's all the same


it's hard enough

to make it through some days


just trying to keep

my head on straight


I'm just trying to keep

my head on straight


but I can't and I fall apart

more often than not


i'm okay with that

if it shows you where to start


but i can't keep

those happy thoughts


that keep me off my feet

they all slip past my eyes


before my hands

can even reach




everything's not as it should be

including me


everything's not as it should be




would the child you were

be okay with who you are


are you really content

with all that you settle for


do you really have

everything that you need


when you're faced with death

will you go as confidently




see that day's coming sooner

than you'll ever know


and you'll stand before the throne

of the One who spoke the words


that encapsulate all you are

meant to be and all you mock


in the end all that matters is

if you're known or if you're not




I pray you are



i'm glad i never kissed her

it'd given me something to miss

i've always been a fool

for kind words said from lying lips


but it seems

i have lost my taste

or rather maybe

it's something i've gained



i'm seeing shades again

ghosts of lovers i had kept

and thought i held so deep in my heart


the memories remain

haunting my heart and head every day

and the hollowness won't fade


what i once thought full

is now just an ache

some wounds heal

into scars that take



i recall long nights

longing for



by my side


unsettled to

my core


but now i take every day

as it comes


i know deaths

on the way


doesnt matter to me

on which page



i look towards the end

not to finish but to begin


and it's nothing i can comprehend


like in those long nights

wondering if I was in Your sights


why nothing ever seems all right

maybe that's cause it ain't


i thought a girl

could bring me grace


but they all left without a trace


but yeah I'm alright

if no one sees me with Your eyes


because of Your Sons sacrifice

I'll still die a happy man


trusting in Your plan



if you truly care for me

than pull no punches

if i bleed than i bleed

i simply want honesty

is that so much to ask for



i just need a little

something more

than everything

i've been asking for


i've no clue what that is

i just hope and pray that it exists


does it exist



if we've hope

of which we don't speak

if there's wonder left

for us to see in this world


tell me where i have to be

i'll go till my legs give out

from underneath me

i swear i'll give my all



here it is again that dreadful swell that pools

within my every cell

and beckons forth a truth

my heart and mind cannot dispel


you see if deaths a gate and theres a key

and hells for those who go willingly than we

lie to ourselves

its something we do all too well



break me down and build me up

ive seen what my wretched hands have wrought

if its finished i am too

take me up in arms with you





i heard you've been

searching for peace


is it not found with

the company you keep


or does it all seem as empty

as the life that you lead



ive been a friend

to fools for so long


i've gotten so used

to suffering harm


throwing all my pearls to swine

thinking things would change with every try




i find that i am tired

most of the time


longing for more than what

passes me by




it's another day another night

more than i can take though i try to fight


i am beaten like the grains of sand

on the few shores i've had the privilege to stand




and i'm lost and as found as each one of them

tossed by the tides every foothold i've tried


i beg the ocean to just take me in


i find myself embraced like a warm summers night

on an empty beach


the fullness of Your being

far more than my mind can take


but my soul feels inflamed



and those stars aren't thrown across the sky

but each of them placed


and to think any less of ourselves

well that's a disgrace


we're all fearfully

and wonderfully made


home's not here

He's calling

He's coming


the appeal of this life will fade